Goodbye MummyandTummy

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Three years ago, I had a dream… I’ve spent the time since planning, launching and working on www.mummyandtummy.co.nz , the ultimate parenting lifestyle website. Over 400 pages of non-judgemental and real parent-to-parent advice and tips, directories of other websites, online shopping and community forum. We had recipes, housekeeping, pregnancy, fertility, baby, parenting information, competitions, email newsletters and downloadable PDF files. It was slowly building up to what I imagined (I say slowly because of course I had two babies in the meantime!).

However earlier this year the website was hacked and had to be closed. This was so gutting as so much love and time and work had gone into the project. I was faced with the choice to rebuild, but have opted instead to close the website and look at new projects – and this was when Barley&Serene came about!

BarleyandSerene will allow me to finetune my direction and create a clearer vision and website. I look forward to developing my brand and helping and supporting more Kiwi women :-)

I will be sending out a final MummyandTummy email over the coming days. I have just finished salvaging any content I could, and some of it has been posted on this blog :-)

 

Thank you so much to everyone who has helped along the journey – for promoting the site, for reading the site, for contributing to the site – I appreciate your support, faith and help!

Goodbye MummyandTummy.co.nz …….

 

Ashlee

Baby Showers

There are no rules to holding a modern day baby shower – it can be for any babe (your first or fourth!), you can hold it yourself or your friends can organise it for you, you can invite guys and babies and not just single girl friends!!

Baby showers make a great celebration of your pregnancy and allow you to catch up with friends before you have the baby and life becomes busy for a bit. We recommend having your baby shower when you are between 6 and 8 months – once you have a tummy to celebrate and before you get too tired!!

 

Hold a themed baby shower to help you get what you need. People like to help out (even if they can only contribute a small amount) and they like it when you can be specific about what you need so try these ideas:
*cloth nappy theme – ask everyone to contribute towards a bulk pack of cloth nappies or give them the brand you are buying so they can all buy one or two nappies each – this will build up your collection!
*registry – many online baby stores will do a registry so you can get the bottles, wraps, etc you need
*a linen party – ask people for blankets, wraps, sheets etc. Be sure to say if you only want natural bedding like wool, cotton, bamboo etc and even offer some websites/shops that sell these.

 

ON THIS PAGE:

Planning your baby shower – basics and checklists so you dont miss a thing!

A Green Eco-Friendly Baby Shower – taking the natural approach to your celebration

 

 

Planning your baby shower:
We have loads of ideas and websites below, but here is your checklist for a hassle-free baby shower!
 Set a date and time. Think about the guests you want to come, and whether they work or have babies. Weekend afternoon teas work well!
 Choose a venue. Think about the size of group you are expecting and whether you can cater for drinks, toilets, food, seating and games.
 Clear it with the mum-to-be if you are planning the shower for her!
 Send out invites. Print your own, buy ready-printed of the internet (see below) (not too many shops have them) or have a local printer make some. Allow at least 3 weeks notice for maximum attendance!
 Plan the food. Choose food that is easy to prepare, easy to eat and easy to clean up after! See below for ideas!
 Plan the games – use the MummyandTummy game guide!
 Plan some decorations or party favours.
 The weeks before. Gather decorations, gifts, prizes, etc
 The day before. Using your RSVP list, buy the food and anything else you need. Bake if you need to. Charge the camera batteries and empty the memory card.
 On the day: Ice cakes, set up food platters, decorate the table etc, lay out the games. Welcome guests, play games, take photos and have fun!!

 

Invites:
Include the date, time and location, and a contact number for RSVPs. Be sure to write the theme and include any details of a gift registery if you have one.
Use a word processing programme and some clip-art to create your own invites. Search the internet for ideas!
Try Trade Me and party favour websites for baby shower invites that are already pre-printed.
www.babyshower.co.nz  for pre-printed invites and games
www.vistaprint.co.nz will print for you
www.b-net.co.nz is a one-stop information website for creating the best baby shower!
www.poppyseed.co.nz – georgous range of party items, may be able to adapt invites to suit your theme?
Google poems to use on your invite!

 

Food:
Food should be simple because the whole idea is to relax! Choose items that are tiny to reflect the theme, and preferably can be made a day ahead (or even earlier and then frozen).
Suggestions: fruit platter, mini muffins, tiny bite-sized biscuits, tiny pikelets with cream, sandwiches cut small, cake cut small and iced, iced cupcakes, chip and dip platters. Think about the recommended foods to avoid (like soft cheeses and processed meats).
Drinks – make a large (non-alcoholic!) bowl of punch, or have bottle of juice, lemonade, coke and tea/coffee and keep it simple!

 

Decorations:
*Fasten a length of string across the top of the room, and hang the new baby clothes across it – very simple but very effective!
*Make a flag banner from fabric
*Hang bunches of balloons in the corners of the room, or fill the floor with balloons for a very dreamy feel – pink, blue and green!
*A large noticeboard or cardboard pinned to the wall. Place strips of double-sided tape and get guests to put up their own baby pics – you can use this for a game (below)
*Other game charts as per below could be enlarged onto coloured paper and hanging these will also create decorations
*traditional banners and streamers

 

Party Favours:
You can buy these online (international shipping is available from tinyprints.com and www.beau-coup.com, or some party websites in NZ have them (see above). Try www.organicbaby.co.nz for an eco-flavour or make your own!
*Pot a tiny plant in a little pot for each guest
*Pack a little bag with jelly beans or pebbles in blue, pink or green (or all three!) bags

 

Games:
*Spoon jarred baby food into bowls. Place a numbered sticker on the bottom of each bowl and a corresponding one onto each jar (then hide the jars!). The idea is to taste the food and guess what it is!!
*Melt various chocolate bars (banana-flavoured ones, pink marshmallow, nutty ones etc) and spoon into different nappies. Guess the flavour (putting them in the nappy, to look like a BM, makes it very distracting!)
*Hand around a ball of string and ask everyone to cut the length that will fit around the mum-to-be’s belly. Closest wins!
*have everyone bring a baby photo of themselves and stick to a noticeboard (in secret!). The game is for everyone to try and match the baby photo to the guest!
*Print out our Baby Shower Games guide (email us for details) including date and gender betting, Pin the Baby to the Belly and more!

 

Gifts:
Many online baby stores have gift registrys. Otherwise you could indicate a theme on your invite, which may help prompt useful gifts ideas (such as cloth nappies, sleeping bags/wraps/pjs etc, cotton theme, bath theme, book theme etc).
You may like to have a notebook handy so a friend can record the gifts you receive (and who from!) so you can send out invites later!!

 

More:
Create a baby shower keepsake.
If you have a pregnancy journal, use this, or you can buy a nice notebook from stationary stores to record gifts, gifts, store photos etc. Have all your guests write messages in your book – dreams for baby, wishes for you, any thoughts or good advice etc.
Use scraps of material (or cheap simple white baby singlets) and use fabric paint or pens. Have each guest decorate a piece, you can sew these together into a blanket or flag.
Set up a home portrait studio and have friends take photos of your belly, you and your friends etc for some good laughs and neat photos!!

 

MummyandTummy says:
There are no rules, so make your baby shower a fun and relaxed time to celebrate your pregnancy with your friends and family!

 

 

 The Green and Eco-Friendly Baby Shower!

We’ve had a baby shower with each of our babies, not in the traditional sense of ‘showering’ us with items to prepare for the baby, but more as a celebration of our pregnancy and to catch up with friends and family before the baby comes and chaos with it!

For me, it wasn’t until I had my first child that I began to feel strongly about chemicals and other nasties in our air, skin and food. All of a sudden, this pure and innocent baby was being subjected to the dirty world we were creating and I wasn’t proud or happy of that! So began my natural journey!

You can imagine how two and half years later, and pregnant with my third baby, how things were changing in our household. Admittedly I wasn’t as eco or organic as I would have liked, being somewhat tired, and on limited time and money with two babies. But we were taking steps forward every month, and Im proud of how far we have come.

Planning the baby shower with number 3 had to be different. The idea of an eco-friendly baby shower came with loads of ideas from the net, and adapting some of the natural and recycling ways we had adopted in our home. I also wanted a scrapbooking afternoon, so we combined the two (but that’s a whole new story!).

To start with, I created a hard-copy invite using recycled paper scraps and stamps, and then scanned it into our computer. I used a word processing programme to create a digital version, which was then emailed to all our friends and family (except a small handful who got the hardcopy versions, like grandparents!).

Then I bought some little peat pots, which are made from recycled materials, filled them with potting mix, and planted heaps of little seeds. I bought organic tomatoes from organicbaby.co.nz, which sprouted in just over a week, but the concept of the little seedling representing new life would work with other seeds.

The easiest way to cater for family and friends is to have a pot-luck meal! This spreads the cost and gives loads of variety and everyone is usually more than happy to bring a plate to share. We supplied the meat and a basic salad, and our guests bought another dish to complement it. I always buy extras such as breads and drinks, which can be frozen and stored, for several weeks in advance to spread the cost. We buy much of our produce local (our homegrown lettuce wasn’t quite ready!), if you’re planning your baby shower, look for locally grown and organic food and drinks.

When the girls arrived, each place setting had the little pot holding the now grown seedlings, and a white envelope. It was a way of giving to our guests in return for the support and gifts they have given us. The envelopes were the Organic Baby sample pack, filled with vouchers, samples and more, for eco living and organic beauty – and they went down a treat!!! See below on how to order yours!

We used our cutlery and crockery, and extra plastic plates, and the whole lot was put in the dishwasher. I love entertaining, and I have used the same plastic plates for every event this year (over half a dozen!) simply by washing in the dishwasher when we are done!! They are left for a day to dry, then put away for next time! Very cheap and easy! We also have cloth napkins as an alternative to paper serviettes.

At the end of the day, we had just half a small bag of rubbish, a plate of food scraps for the pigs or dogs, one extra load for the dishwasher and lots of smiles and laughs! Hows that for eco-friendly!

Here are some more ideas for your eco-friendly baby shower:

v      Create a banner! This is a fabulous way to decorate for your event, cheaper than balloons, and create a keepsake for your baby in years to come! Use recycled material scraps. Once the baby is born, add their name and you can hang as a decoration for each coming birthday!

v      Ask your guests for specific items if they offer a gift, so you get the gear you need rather than ten packets of baby wipes! If you’re brave and your friends and family wont be offended, ask for money (any small amount!) to put towards the cost of a bigger item like the cot or a set of modern cloth nappies.

v      Have conversations with your friends and family and tell them you are opting for natural cotton, wool or merino clothing and bedding (organic where possible). Hopefully they wont give you polyester baby clothes!!!

v      Pot a tree (or a branch!). Have your guests suggest baby names onto recycled paper scraps and hang onto the tree! Or, call it a ‘money tree’ and supply your guests with envelopes if you are expecting/asking for monetary donations.

v      Tell your guests you are going for the eco-theme so they opt for recycled wrapping etc and know what to expect (there are still wary and unconverted people out there!!).

v      Place a range of baby items on a tray and let the guests see this for one minute, before covering up and having your friends write down the items they remember!

v      Use a teddy bear and have guests put a cloth nappy on the bear in record time! (This one is hilarious if there are men around!)

v      Have your guests bring a baby photo of themselves, then have everyone match the photo to the guest!

v      For party favors, grab an Organic Baby sample pack for each guest, or give potted little vegetable seedlings. Boxed soaps (like ecostore’s fab range) are also a nice touch!

v      For prizes, give gifts such as natural soaps, extra plant seedlings or a small bag of homebaking!

v      See www.mummyandtummy.co.nz for more ideas and to get a printable PDF file of baby shower games!

The whole morning was a great success and everyone enjoyed themselves. Its so great to catch up with friends before the baby comes, and to show that we’re living healthy and naturally (rather than just talking about it!). It was a wonderful way to celebrate the new life that we are expecting soon!!!

 

 

Where we got it:

 

Organic Baby sample pack – www.organicbaby.co.nz

Recycled peat pots – The Warehouse, nationwide, or check out your local garden centre.

Tomato seedlings – www.organicbaby.co.nz or www.ecoseeds.co.nz

Baby shower games – www.mummyandtummy.co.nz

Ecostore soaps – www.ecostore.co.nz (or www.organicbaby.co.nz or available in supermarkets nationwide)

Modern Cloth Nappies – we got ours from www.realnappies.co.nz but check out http://www.thenappynetwork.org.nz/ or www.organicbaby.co.nz for more suppliers.

Postnatal Depression – Part One

From MummyandTummy.co.nz…

 Postnatal depression is a common condition and according to the Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand there are three types of depression which can occur after childbirth.·          

 Postnatal or maternity blues are very common and involve a brief period of the mother feeling down and tearful in the week after her baby is born. This feeling passes after a few days·          

Postnatal depression, a much more serious condition, is also common. The woman becomes seriously depressed in the first months following the baby’s birth

Postnatal psychosis (sometimes called post partum psychosis) is rare and involves symptoms of psychosis (being out of touch with reality) associated with changes in mood – either a depressed or an extremely high mood. It usually begins in the first two weeks after the child is born.

(from www.mentalhealth.org.nz  )

It is really important that you seek help. There are no real “tests” to determine a diagnosis, but these are some symptoms that may help your doctor diagnose the condition:

  • Feeling low and sad for days on end
  • Finding no pleasure in your baby
  • Lack of interest in anything, especially the hobbies or special activities you used to enjoy before
  • Moody and irritable
  • Changes in your sleeping, like not being able to sleep even when you are tired, or not being able to get up because you are so exhausted
  • Feeling useless or guilty
  • Not coping well with the labour and birth (especialy if it didnt go to plan or was quite traumatic)
  • Not eating well or eating lots (changes in your habits)
  • Anxiety, panic attacks and fears to things you can or cannot control
  • Not being able to concentrate

Obviously it can be hard to determine if these symptoms are to do with the changes associated with your new baby or if it is indeed postnatal depression. Often symptoms of depression linger for a long time while those associated with normal baby changes (such as lack of sleep) will get better over time.

Postnatal Depression does not make you weak or useless, or a bad mother. You cannot simply just “get over it” even if you want to. Some people can be very insensitive to the condition, mostly because they dont understand. Distance yourself from these people and surround yourself with those who love, care and support you.

What do you do if you think you have postnatal depression? See your doctor. Take along a friend or family member for support if you need it.
Well done for realising how you are feeling. Asking for help is a really scary thing but you are taking huge steps in the right direction towards making yourself feel better – YAY for you!

Tell your doctor how you feel. She may reccomend antidepressants or counselling, or a combination of both. Ask her about the antidepressants and how they will make you feel. Be sure to understand how and when you should stop taking them.

If you do not wish to try antidepressants, try and speak to a maternity counsellor instead. Talking will help you identify how you feel and help you make the changes you need to feel better.

Do not let anyone make you feel useless or discriminate against you for having postnatal depression. People can help support you by helping you with baby and the housework, taking you to coffee group or to the beach or somewhere you like, listening to you talk, giving you time to yourself to sleep or exercise.

Postnatal depression can occur in fathers too. Having a baby is a big change.

Your partner may not know how to help you while you work to get better. Try and tell him how you feel, and tell him the things he could do to make you feel better.

Use support around you – coffee groups, friends, parents and other family, Plunket and Well Child Services, support groups and organisations, medical professionals.

 

 

Here are a few of them, we hope they help while we prepare the rest of the page.

Take care and keep smiling!!

 

“After having a new baby, learn to prioritise things – do only what needs to be done. If its not going to matter next week, dont do it!”

“Write down what is important. Providing your babys needs is important but so is having a laugh and cuddle. Spending time with your man is important. Doing a second load of washing today is not important. The lesson – when you get the chance, play with your babe or watch a movie with your man. Those are the times that matter.”

“Look after yourself! If you dont eat and sleep and look after yourself, how can you possibily look after your baby? Rest as often as you can – it doesnt matter if you baby is 6 weeks or 6 months or 6 years – take the opportunity to catch up on sleep if you need to.”

Choosing a Maternity Bra

Breast changes are inevitable during pregnancy and beyond, at times you may not recognise your own chest, and perhaps at the end of your baby journey you may find they are completely different to what you started with!
It is important to protect and support your breasts as well as you can. Choosing bras that fit well will help support their changing shape and size, and help prevent blockages that can cause painful breast infections.

You may find that you will need to wear maternity bras (softer, non-underwire styles) early in your pregnancy, or you may be able to make the change a bit later. It is preferable that you are not wearing underwire in your last trimester, and after week 33 you should start thinking about your maternity bras.

Maternity bras are designed to support your breasts, while allowing for the changes that will occur while feeding (engorgement, milk coming in and then emptying). They have little clips that allow you to remove the cup to expose the nipple to feed without having to remove your bra (hitching a non-maternity bra up or down may cause blockages).

The bigger the shoulder straps, the wider the back strap, the more support. Also look for adjustable straps and back clips.
Your nipples will be very tender after birth (if they aren’t already) and so we recommend that you choose a bra that is not made of hard lace, or have seams running across the nipples.

It pays to get professionally fitted for your maternity bras, because those in the lingerie department know how much room you need to leave to allow your breasts to expand (when your milk comes in).
Remember that noone knows exactly how your breasts will respond after birth, so we strongly recommend keeping your receipts so that you can change the size if you need to!

When you are trying on bras, test how easy the clip is to open and close. Some clips that are too high up the strap are harder to clip on. Velcro may lose its ‘stick’ after a few washes. Cheaper clips may more difficult to do up with one hand.

You will need at least 2, if not 3 bras, for the first few weeks. This leaves you one to wear, one in the wash, and preferably a clean one ready to wear. You may prefer to try a couple of different brands to find which one you like better.

Some women prefer to wear their bras at night, for extra support, particularly in the first few weeks. There are some great maternity singlets/tops that you may find more comfortable for night feeding – they have the same clips and some support, but are not as tight as a bra.

After a couple of months, you will need to be re-fitted. By this stage, if you are still feeding, your breasts will have settled into a size that may be different to those first few weeks. If you have stopped breastfeeding, your breasts may be a different size than pre-pregnancy and you will probably need new bras to provide support.

Ensuring you have a good maternity bra will make things more comfortable for you.

Some fabulous maternity bra tips:
*Wide back and shoulder straps provide the most support
*Be professionally fitted to ensure good support and enough room for when your milk comes in
*Avoid underwire in later pregnancy and while breastfeeding to avoid blockages
*Avoid hard lace and seams across the nipples
*Ensure the clip is easy to open and close with one hand

 

MUMMYTIPS

 “I packed my maternity bras with the shop receipt, into my hospital bag. After having baby, my bras didn’t fit, but it was easy for my partner to change them because the tags were still on them”

“I prefer the bras that when you unclip the cup, there is still a band of fabric around my breast. This keeps the shoulder strap from slipping down my arm!”

Take advantage of sales! You can get your maternity bras 20-30% off if you wait for a sale weekend!”

“Some brands have loyalty clubs for their bras, and you can get free items if you purchase so many – ask instore! I got a free bra when I bought 3 of my favourite ones!”

Packing your labour & hospital bags

Another article from my old site – MummyandTummy :-)

It is generally recommended to pack your bags about a month before your Due Date – and at least by Week 37. Try and pack two bags so that you can separate the labour stuff from the belongings you will need for your hospital stay.

If you are planning a homebirth, you may still want to place all your birthing and immediate post-natal items in a box for easy finding. Talk to your midwife about what you may need, and what she will supply.

Highlight items you will need to grab closer to the day (things you are using now, for example) and write on any additional items so you wont forget. Place this list on top of your labour bag so you can grab it when the time comes!
(It will also make it easier for your support person to help if you are unable to pack your bags on the day).

Labour Bag
The following may be handy, or inspire you to think of your own items. Better to have too much than not enough!!! You many need to talk to your midwife about any additional items you may need, or what the hospital/birthing centre offers.

This is your labour so make it how you want!

• Snacks for you and birthing partner, and a water bottle each
• Your birth plan and any other notes
• Energy drinks and lollies
• A watch (with a second hand!)
• Wheatbag or heat pack
• Hair ties or headband
• Socks or slippers
• T-shirt/singlet and/or sarong
• Massage oil (something that isn’t strong smelling)
• Underwear
• Lipbalm
• CDs/Tapes and player
• Camera and batteries

Hospital Bag
Make your stay as comfortable as possible

• Dressing gown or clean sarong
• Change of clothes (maternity wear) and underwear
• Maternity bra and receipts (two or three)
• Breastpads
• MP3player, headphones and batteries, or earplugs
• Toiletries
• Your own sanitary pads if you wish
• Snacks
• Magazines
• Pillow (maybe your own duvet?)
• Arnica Spray, Floradix and any medications
• Journal
• Address book
• Plastic bags for dirty washing
• The baby car seat
• Baby clothes (light clothing for hospital stay)
• Baby Clothes (homecoming outfit including hat)
• Baby blanket
• Cloth nappies if you choose not to use the hospital disposables

 

More on packing bags:

You wont be completely free of your baby bump once baby arrives! Your tummy will become an unrecognisable squishy thing, and you will still need maternity wear for a few more days. You may be very tired and uncomfortable so very loose-fitting clothing (like pajamas) may be the most suitable.

Maternity Wards can be very warm, so you may not need much, However a sarong or dressing gown will allow you to cover up when moving around. Your baby may not need much more than a singlet to wear in the ward but will need to be dressed to come home. And if they are sick or pooey you will need more than one change!!!

 

MUMMYTIPS

 I packed a few wet face cloth in a ziplock bag, which was handy for wiping my face (and spew :-( unfortunately) and cooling me down during labour.

I took my own duvet for the hospital stay! The hospital blankets are too light and I felt much cosier with my own!                                -AA

Facial wipes were handy for freshening up in the morning and before visitors, because I found it hard to get out of bed for the first few days. Dove ones smell good and moisturised my face too!!

Don’t forget the MP3 player – especially in case you have to share a room!!

One of the best things is packing citravescent ural sachets to help you pee painlessly after giving birth, they just help make things that much better!!!
 
Also lip balm!!! Even vaseline, you will be doing lots of talking & kissing that baby of yours!
                                                                                    -TJ

Month-by-Month Pregnancy

 Another MummyandTummy article :-)

 

Your tummy expands, your excitement grows… and so does the little babe inside your bump!! Check out some of these websites for pregnancy information, due-date calendars and weekly tracking emails!

(we’re not affiliated with any of these businesses or products, we just like their emails and websites! And thats what MummyandTummy is all about – honest parent-to-parent advice!)

Little Treasures
Sign up for Treasures’ Expected Treasures pregnancy tracker emails. This is a New Zealand website and you’ll find some interesting articles on topics including pregnancy niggles, morning sickness and choosing a name for your baby!

Parents Centre
A New Zealand website, home to Parents Centres New Zealand Inc. Parents Centres have centres around the country offering childbrith education, parenting courses, antenatal classes, newsletters, reading library, coffee and play groups and more. This website is developing a pregnancy section including a due-date calendar, some tips for easing morning sickness, and choosing a LMC.

Oh Baby!
A due date calendar, antenatal care tips and information on tests etc, travelling while pregnant and maternity wear make this a relevant and informative Kiwi website. Oh Baby has a pregnancy diary too which is fascinating to read!!

 

Kidspot
This is a New Zealand website and you’ll find fantastic information on choosing a Lead Maternity Carer (LMC), what foods to eat and avoid during pregnancy, and a directory of products and services for maternity wear, nursery, baby gear and more!

Origins’ obstetricians
Three obstretricians who run an Auckland-based clinic as LMCs for pregnant woman. This website has a pregnancy calendar and some general information on pregnancy, like some reasons for concern during pregnancy and questions for developing a birth plan. For NZers who are not Origins customers, you will still like the reccomended reading and links pages for more information!
About.Com – Pregnancy Calendar
This website has comprehensive info on everything pregnancy related including Am I Pregnant?, baby names, baby showers, Your Pregnant Body, prentatl care, labour and birth etc. Some of it is rather American but there are some neat pictures of womb babies!

Blackmores Australia
If you can get over the advertising of Blackmores there is some very cool sutff on this website! Sign up for their emails to keep on track during your pregnancy, learn more about fertility and conception, work out your due date on their calendar, and best of all, Blackmores have a VERY cool 3D video of a vaginal birth! Wow!

ParentingWeekly
This American-based website emails you weekly with updates on your pregnancy – and then carries through into your first year – very cool! Covering loads of relevant topics, lots of great advice and tips, this is one email you’ll love to recieve (just ignore the USA bit. Occasionally you get American-based advertising emails, but these are easily deleted!)

What to Expect
The What to Expect when you are Expecting books are very popular and now you can be emailed weekly! Sign up for emails and track your baby’s growth. Very very American but some useful advice.

BabyGaga
Another USA site, with pregnancy tickers (for use on forums) but also a pregnancy tracker email.

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